Matsumoto Rangiku's New Year Resolutions
by crazyarsonist
Summary: Matsumoto's already made her resolutions. Have you?


**Useless Notes:** Matsumoto's New Year resolutions, yo. Have fun reading.

**Disclaimer:** Bleach doesn't belong to me. No matter how hard I wish.

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**Matsumoto Rangiku's New Year Resolutions**

_**1. Try to lay off the alcohol. Even just a little bit. **_

"TAAII-CHOUUU!" Matsumoto sang, swinging her sake jar around. "I'M BAAAACK!!"

"Ah good," Hitsugaya nodded while signing his papers. "I take it your vice-captain's meeting went well- Matsumoto, are you all right?"

He removed his glance from his paperwork to face his lieutenant properly.

Big mistake.

"Oooh, it was the absolute best!" Matsumoto described, her face a few millimeters from her taichou's surprised one.

"Ma- Matsumoto!" he exclaimed, his face reddening in an instant.

"Oh taichou, if only you were _there_!" she went on, ignoring his reaction. "We had soo much fun!"

"That wasn't actually a meeting, was it?" his expression darkened, once the truth unveiled itself before his eyes.

"Oh, we just had a few drinks to ourselves… you know…" she grinned.

"A few drinks?" a sweatdrop appeared on his head.

"And everyone was there too, taichou!" she went on and raised her fingers. "Ikkaku and Yumichika and Hisagi and Kira and Iba and Renji and, and…"

"I knew it…" the sweatdrop was now replaced with a vein. "Matsumoto, go over to the washroom and sober down, so you can- Matsumoto?"

"… And then, Hisagi starts spinning around like this," she demonstrated, turning around giddily and snorting with laughter the whole time.

"Matsumoto."

"And then he's dizzy after…" she stopped turning around and tried to stand still. "And then, he goes over to Kira like, like this…"

She moved dizzily toward her taichou, who was already nervously backing up against the chair, suddenly very afraid of his lieutenant.

"And then… and then…" she grinned, moving up on his desk tipsily. "Guess, taichou! Guess what happened next!"

"_Matsumoto_."

Not waiting for him to finish his answer, Matsumoto suddenly leaped over the desk and was now standing in front of Hitsugaya.

"And then… and then, he comes down on Kira like-"

SMOOCH

Her entire sentence was cut off as she lost her balance and toppled onto her panicked taichou.

Lipsfirst.

Uh-oh.

"Ah… ta- taichou!" she suddenly regained consciousness from her drunken state and her eyes widened in horror as she looked down at her very red-faced captain.

And that redness wasn't because of the kiss, let me tell you that.

"I- I can explain… I didn't mean to- Honest!" she stuttered. "Ta- taichou?"

"MATSUMOTO!!!!"

_**2. Help taichou out with the paperwork more.**_

"What happened and you suddenly decided to help out with the paperwork?" Hitsugaya raised an eyebrow at his lieutenant.

"It's nothing, taichou!" she chirped, as she set down a stack of papers at her desk. "I just thought that, as your vice-captain, I should help out with the paperwork more! And besides, I can't stress you out so much now, can I?"

"Uh…" Hitsugaya stared incredulously at Matsumoto, who immediately plopped down on her chair.

Nope, he told himself, still very much sober…

"Yosh, let's get started!" she stretched her fingers and picked up her pen.

Hitsugaya still couldn't believe what he was seeing.

"I can't use _this_!" Matsumoto suddenly gasped.

"Can't use what?" Hitsugaya repeated.

"This… this _pen_!" she held it out to her taichou. "It's broken!"

"Uh…" he slowly nodded his head when he saw the pen's broken tip.

"Looks like I'll have to go get a new one," she stood up from her chair. And before Hitsugaya could stop her, she had already shunpo'd out of his office.

He let out a sigh and tried to get back to work. He picked up his pen and started to go over the papers on his desk.

A few minutes later, Matsumoto returned.

"I'm back!" she announced, waving her new pen around.

She sat herself down and put her pen to her paper. But just then, a rumbling sort of sound echoed across the room. Hitsugaya slowly turned to his vice-captain's desk, already knowing the answer to his question.

"Matsumoto?"

She turned around to face her captain, whose sweatdrops were pouring out of his scalp.

"Oh!" she giggled. "All that running around must've made me hungry… Na, taichou, why don't you sit tight for a bit while I grab myself a bite? I'll be quick, promise."

"Matsu-"he started, but before he could finish (you guessed it), she was gone.

He let out a loud, frustrated sigh and went back to work. He was starting to figure out the reasons behind Matsumoto's excuses.

A few minutes later…

"BURP"

Hitsugaya looked up and saw an obviously well-fed Matsumoto re-enter the office. She grinned at him and sat down to start working.

"Do you still need anything else?" he asked.

"Nope, nothing at all, taichou!" came the cheery response.

"You're sure?" he persisted.

"Well now that you mention it…" she put a finger to her chin. "I'm a bit thirsty after all that running around, so-"

"Matsumoto," he growled audibly and brought his palm to his forehead. "I'm giving you the day off. Go grab a drink with the others or something."

"That sounds- EH?!" her eyes widened. "Taichou?!"

"Just go," he said. "Go. The day's yours."

"But… but… the paperwork!"

"I'll handle it, don't worry," he said.

"Okay then!" she smiled widely at her good fortune. "I'll be seeing you then, taichou!"

He waved her off and sat down deeper in his chair to _finally_ get started on his work. He had been distracted with her running around after all.

_**3. Don't sleep on the job.**_

Hitsugaya walked in his office one night and stretched his limbs to begin another round with his paperwork.

He stopped dead in his tracks, once he saw Matsumoto inside the room.

"Matsumoto?"

"Evening, taichou!" she greeted. "Guess what, I'm helping out with the paperwork tonight!"

"Not again…" he muttered, still remembering the last time she tried to help.

"But I promise, taichou!" she said with full conviction. "No more excuses out of this one! I'm helping whether you like it or not!'

"… You have no one to spend the night with, don't you?"

Her eyes widened in surprise.

"Eh…"

Hitsugaya nodded. "Well, let's get started then, shall we?"

She nodded and sat down to begin working.

A few minutes later, Hitsugaya looked over to check on Matsumoto and was not really surprised when he saw her hunched over on her desk, snoring like a baby.

He didn't get mad or irritated or anything. He stood up from his desk and walked over to hers. After tugging the papers gently from under her arms, he glanced at them.

Well, at least she finished three of them, he thought with a smile. He brought them back over to his desk and proceeded to do both their shares of the paperwork. As always.

He let her sleep for the time being and when he was done, he made sure to put a blanket over her before leaving.

… When they got the couch however, Matsumoto began sleeping there every night since.

Hitsugaya was not amused.

_**4. Achieve bankai! Oh yeah!**_

"Growl, Haineko!"

Haineko materialized on the spot, but her response was far from friendly.

"… Waking me up in the middle of a very good sleep…" she grumbled. "Do you have any idea what time it is?!"

"Just about time for you to get up, you prima donna!" Matsumoto shot back.

Haineko growled. "Okay, now that you got me up and everything, what do you want _this_ time?!"

Matsumoto grinned at her zanpaktou. "I want to achieve Bankai."

Haineko looked over at her master once and scoffed.

"Whatever," was all she said and disappeared, apparently retiring to catch up on her forty winks.

"O- oi!" Matsumoto yelled out, partly annoyed, partly furious. "Haineko! Oi!"

Okay, she thought to herself, this wasn't exactly her picture of her Bankai training session. Based from what she heard from her taichou and from Renji, _this_ was definitely not the way Bankai training sessions went.

Because usually, the wielder's zanpaktou would give off a nice little laugh, ask the wielder if he or she was ready and proceed to give off all the warnings a zanpaktou would give. And then, the ass-whooping would commence.

Haineko, unfortunately, was not complying with following the examples Hyonimarou and Zabimaru first set.

Haineko, was however, laughing.

Oh well, it was a start.

"Come on, Haineko, please?"

"You're not ready."

"Please?"

"No."

"Haineko!!!"

"Nuh-uh."

"Please?"

"No! Now let me get some sleep!"

"But Haineko!"

"…"

"Haineko!"

"…"

"… Haineko?"

_**5. Do something good for someone.**_

Matsumoto skipped merrily on her way to the Sixth Division headquarters, holding a little basket. Her mile-long smile radiated from her face and she was so happy that she even hummed a song on the way.

She didn't even notice Iba and Hisagi (who passed by her) drooling and smiling like some hot babe had passed their way.

Well… yeah, but that's not the point.

Anyway, she found what- or who- she was looking for and greeted him with a smile.

"Oi, Renji!" she waved. Then, she noticed that he wasn't alone. This only widened her smile. "Kira!"

"Matsumoto-san," both men waved at her in greeting.

"Hey, what's that you got there?" Renji asked, pointing to her basket.

"Some cookies I made a little while ago," she answered, removing the cover to reveal the cookies. "But taichou wasn't around, so I was thinking you guys might want to try it!"

"Are they good?" Kira asked shyly, his hand already on its way to the basket.

"I don't know yet," Matsumoto thought about it. "But I did make 'em myself!"

"Well count me in then!" Renji grinned, putting his hand into the basket.

"Take as much as you want!" she encouraged. "Orihime Inoue-san taught me the recipe when I stayed with her on the real world on one of my missions!"

"Eh?" Renji looked up, horrified at the name. "Orihime Inoue-san?"

"Yeah!" she nodded.

Suddenly, vivid flashbacks of Ichigo and that Quincy-kid sprawled out on the floor crossed Renji's mind. They had just eaten some of Inoue's cooking (he was certain that there was fish and ice cream in it) for lunch. They ate the food so they wouldn't upset her, but once the stuff was in their mouths, they had realized their big mistake. Renji wasn't about to repeat theirs.

His hand stopped moving towards the basket.

"I… uh… I just remembered something I had to bring up with Kuchiki-taichou today… Uh, so Kira… why don't you, uh, try out her cookies for me?" Renji sputtered, slowly backing away from the Matsumoto-san and her evil basket of cookies.

"Sure!" Kira nodded before biting into his cookie.

"See ya!" Renji yelled over his shoulder and ran off in the distance, silently apologizing to Kira on the way.

"So, what do you think?" Matsumoto asked, watching Kira chew on the cookie.

"Anou… well… it's actually very- HURK"

And feeling a sudden shortage of oxygen, Kira tumbled to the ground, his verdict unfinished.

"Kira?" Matsumoto looked down at the poor guy, shrugged her shoulders and went off to the Fourth Division to find Isane, so she could help Kira out.

But not before she tried one of Matsumoto's cookies.

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**A/N: **I'm not really sure if Haineko's a she. I just assumed she was. Anyways, hope you enjoyed.


End file.
